Hello

My Story

Motherhood has changed me forever. Since birthing my daughter, I have felt completely at odds with almost everything that is considered normal within the culture I have grown up in.

My expectations of what it would be like to raise a child were completely out of whack - mainly because I just hadn’t seen the ins and outs of people raising children. My impressions from short hang-outs with friends who had babies and social media set me up to think that the main challenge of parenthood would be tiredness, but everyone else was doing it and their shiny happy faces on pictures made me think it would be really manageable. What I didn’t know was that my whole body, brain and being would undergo a tectonic shift. That I would crave community in a way that I never have before. That I would feel isolated, angry and frustrated at how little my new position in society was respected. I had created life and sustained it with my body, and people were scowling at my crying baby on the bus rather than looking in awe and wonder at what I’d achieved by bringing a new life into the world. 

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I have been able to share these feelings, cry about my frustrations and celebrate the unadulterated joy that comes with watching my daughter become her own self with the people I love around me. And, even amongst some of my closest friends, I have felt different. We’re all taking the routes that suit our own families on this journey, and there are certain things that I have simply not been willing to do. I wasn’t willing to go back to a menial job after 12 months, it didn’t feel right to leave my baby when it felt like she still needed me so much. When I did feel like I wanted to work again, I found a job that fills my cup and tried to send my daughter to nursery. She hated it, so we didn’t make her go and found other childcare solutions. Her reaction to the nursery setting woke something up in me. It had been brewing for a while, but our experience with that setting made it tangible for me. I didn’t want my daughter to go to school. 

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From an objective point of view, my time in school was fairly unremarkable. I had friends and I got good grades. I didn’t speak up in class, I never got into trouble, I was really good at remembering information to regurgitate onto an exam paper. From the outside, school was a success! But my reality felt very different. My need for acceptance meant that I was compliant, I was so compliant that I didn’t speak up or say ‘no’ when things didn’t feel right. I didn’t stand up for my body or my ideas and it’s taken years to unpick and unlearn the damage that being a ‘good girl’ has done. 

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I don’t want my daughter to have to suffer in the way I did, to feel muted and caged in. I want her to speak freely and have complete autonomy over her body. I don’t have the energy to fight a system that doesn’t value my daughter as a whole being, or encourage her to find a true love for actual learning at her own pace. For our family, home education is the answer to this. 

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I have created Different Path to offer support for other people who don't want to send their children to school. This is a place for people who know they want to do things differently, and know they need other people to help them along the way. Unlike existing groups on social media, most of the interaction will take place on video calls and initially consist of Listening Circles and Home Ed Roundtables. I’m keen to create something where people feel heard, and want to avoid things being misconstrued or misinterpreted via text. Different Path will evolve as the community grows, it’s not mine - I’m just the person who found a domain and put some stuff on a website! 

If this resonates, sign up to the mailing list or get in touch. I’d love to hear from you.