The Power of Authentic Connection

I just bumped into someone I haven’t really seen for about 8 years. We used to go to the same 6am fitness bootcamp and classes at a yoga studio in the centre of Bristol, near to where I used to work. We didn’t really know each other that well, even though we saw each other about 3 times a week for over a year. I’m sure we both made up stories about each other based on our own lives and experiences, and how we each presented ourselves. Because I’d met them in an environment that was all about health and wellbeing, I’d assumed that they were wholesome and I really held back a lot of myself. At that time, I was in my late 20’s and transitioning from a period of my life where I partied. A lot. I didn’t want to reveal the impulsive, silly side of myself - I wanted to appear sculpted and serious, like someone who really had it all together.

Today, I don’t feel like that at all. And it became immediately apparent that neither did my old bootcamp buddy. We asked about each other's kids, and instead of giving a generic “ah yeah, they’re good, such a funny age, they’re doing XYZ” answer, we both answered honestly. We shared concerns about our short fuses, our need for space, our lack of capacity, and having compassion for our old selves (the selves who didn’t take care of themselves and made some bad decisions).

We both knew that neither of us feel that way all the time, but we didn’t hold back on how brutally hard parenting can be at times. Our conversation finished with us belly laughing about how much we each hate the sound of our parents eating, we gave each other a hug and went on our way. It was an unexpected meeting and we’d both just entered the exchange as ourselves, we weren’t wearing masks and it made for an actual connection.  

These types of interactions really bolster me. Despite having such a great connection at that moment, we didn’t half heartedly arrange to see each other again, we just moved on. If the stars align, we’ll meet again! This doesn’t take away from how freeing it was to just be me with another person, and to give space for them to open up too. This is why I love listening circles - you don’t have to know someone deeply to meet them where they’re at. 

Listening to others and being heard is a powerful practice.

In recent years I have attended a lot of women’s and listening circles and always leave with a renewed sense of connection with the other participants and, just as importantly, myself. I’m always amazed at how much we all have in common when the normal social barriers are broken down and we’ve opted to be in a space where sharing openly is encouraged. It is really important to me to connect with others in this way, in a safe place without fear of judgement. If it sounds like something you would like to try, sign up to one of the Different Path Listening Circles - I’d love to meet you there.